cha-spire
cha-spire
inspire - aspire - cha. ✱ second blog of alissa cha, 19, artist, designer and lover of life. ✱ a visual peek into my universe. ✱
content is not mine, unless otherwise stated.

main blog ... me-glow.tumblr.com
Why do I want polyamorous representation?

nightmarekite:

  • Because when someone doesn’t want to date me because I’m poly it’s ‘understandable’ but when I don’t want to date someone because they are monogamous it’s ‘ridiculous.’
  • Because all relationship advice tells you that if you have feelings for someone else while you’re in a…

wow !!!

1,154 notes
Benefits of Polyamory

polylove-girls-blog:

  • Multiple people to do things with. Odds are that I’m not going to share all of my interests with a single person. With having multiple partners, however, the odds go up that I’ll share more of my interests with someone close to me and be able to further explore them. Also, I get exposed to more new interests with each of my sweeties, increasing my palette.  

  • Extended support network. When someone in my intimate circle is having a bad day, or experiences a crisis - they have several people to lean on. And, conversely, no one person is taxed out on giving support, because that support is spread out. 

  • Increased self-awareness. Intimate relationships act like mirrors we hold up to ourselves. And the reflection we see back in each relationship is slightly different, offering a new opportunity to discover something about ourselves. Having multiple intimate relationships gives us multiple perspectives to compare and contrast. 

  • Learning new things about a loved one. The flip side to the above is that when your loved one is experiencing multiple partners, they are learning new things about themselves. In that process, you get a very unique opportunity to see your loved one through someone else’s eyes and perhaps realize new things about them. 

  • Sexual Variety. Yes, I do admit it.. the opportunity to explore a variety of sexual interests is a really cool part of polyamory, even if that isn’t my drive for having multiple relationships.

  • Increased Individuality. In a coupled relationship, it’s really easy to slip into a couplecentric identity - of always doing things together, having the same friends, and having a unit identification. When you’re involved in multiple relationships, you base more of your identity on who you are, not by your relationship(s).  It’s really hard for someone to identify me as part of ‘FritzandCherie’ when they know that I have other sweeties important in my life.  

  • Personal Development. There’s nothing like having multiple partners to call you on your bullshit. In polyamory there’s a lot less room for personal insecurities and co-dependent communication patterns. When you have multiple people who you’re close with, who also communicate with each other in some form, you just simply can’t hide from your negative aspects and have to deal with them. 

Pretty interesting list, and I have to say I agree!

(via learningpoly)

344 notes
Believing we are loved is hard; it can seem seductively easy to accept, on an almost unconscious level, the idea that our partners perpetually have one foot out the door, that we must force, cajole, bribe, or police them into staying with us. And, should a partner choose to leave, we can tend to double down…it happened because we didn’t force, cajole, bribe, or police them enough. If only we’d enforced the rules more strictly, they would have stayed.

I would like to propose the radical idea that believing we are loved and cherished is the assumption that underlies nearly all successful relationships. I would also like to challenge everyone who reads these words to put this idea to the test. I am, after all, an empiricist. Let’s build relationships predicated on the notion that we don’t have to make our partners stay with us; we merely need to accept that we are cherished, and cherish those around us in return, and our partners will want to stay with us.

Who’s with me? » Relationship Assumptions: The Good, the Bad, and the WTF? > More Than Two Book Blog (via brutereason)

this is very relevant

(via brutereason)

112 notes